This Is Forever Read online

  He nips the nipple before sucking it in his mouth again. I’m lost to his touch, lost to his mouth and his tongue. I’m reduced to panting, my hands are all over his chest, and it’s just not enough. He rotates from one breast to the other and then comes back up to kiss me, his tongue hot and needy. My hands go to the side of his head as we get lost in the deep, wet kiss, then they roam from his chest to his back to his ass. I press him deeper into me, and his cock is right on top of my clit.

  The clothes between us are almost like a shield, and I move my hips once. He must wait for the second time because the minute I move again, he pinches my nipple, sending me into another orbit. “God,” I say, and I swear I might orgasm, and he’s only touched my tits.

  “Justin,” he mumbles, and I want to have a sassy comeback, but with his hands literally all over me, I have nothing to say. My hand moves from his ass to his front, and I cup his covered cock. “Caroline.” He now says my name. I slowly open my eyes, but my eyelids feel like they are a thousand pounds. “We are slowly skating toward the goalie.”

  “What?” I ask him.

  “You are skating toward the goalie, and he’s leaving the net empty,” he hisses, and he doesn’t move as he watches me not understand. “I’m going to go off in your hand.”

  “Oh,” I say, smiling that I put him to the point that one touch, and he will go off. “Is that a bad thing?”

  “Trust me, I really want to score.” He kisses me. “But I want to do it when we have the whole night.”

  “The whole night?” I repeat.

  “The whole night,” he says. “Maybe even some of the next day, too.”

  “That’s a long time,” I say. “Are you …?” I try to ask him. “Can you go that long?”

  “I’ll just have to show you,” he says, and it’s like he threw down the challenge. “Better to show you.”

  “I mean, there are things we can do before then …” I try to think, but my hand on his cock and his fingers playing with my nipple are not helping. “Before we …” His mouth covers mine. “Before we pull the goalie.”

  “You are so hot when you talk hockey,” he says and makes his way down, kissing my ribs. His cock is gone from my hand as he trails kisses to my stomach, and then he looks at me as I watch him. My elbows hold me up as he kisses my stomach and sucks in a bit, then goes to the waistband of his shorts that he leant me. I don’t know how he is going to react to the fact I’m not wearing panties. He looks at me, and right before he’s about to go lower, we both hear Dylan scream out crying.

  He’s off me in a blink of an eye and already out of the door. I grab his shirt and put it on, then run out into the hall, and my heart stops in my chest. He’s standing there in the middle of the hallway with my son in his arms as Dylan cries.

  “It was just a bad dream,” Justin whispers to him while his face is buried in his neck. “It’s probably that movie,” he says and looks at me, the worry all over his face.

  “What happened?” I say, walking up to them and rubbing my son’s back.

  “He had a bad dream that we left him,” Justin fills me in. “And he couldn’t find us, and when he woke up, he was all alone.”

  “Oh, baby,” I say, rubbing his head, and he turns to look at me. My son who never had anyone but me to comfort him before is locked up in Justin’s arms, and nothing will pry him from them.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Justin

  Hearing him scream and then cry stopped my heart literally. I thought my heart was not beating while I ran to him standing there in the middle of my dark hallway, looking panicked and scared. He tried to wipe the tears off his face before I got to him, but the minute I held open my arms, he jumped into them. Wrapping his arms around me, he buried his face in my neck, trying not to cry. “I dreamed that you left me,” he says, “and I couldn’t find Mom.”

  I hold him to me tightly, whispering, “Never.” I look up at Caroline who is now coming out of the room wearing the shirt I was just wearing. “We would never leave you,” I say. Holding on to him, I feel Caroline beside me.

  “What happened?” she whispers, and I look at her, expecting him to jump into her arms, but he doesn’t. I kiss his shoulder and walk with him to the couch, sitting down with him on my lap.

  Caroline comes over and sits next to me, and a few seconds later, he is snoring softly on my shoulder. “You can put him down,” she says, rubbing his cheek softly.

  “Not yet,” I say, making sure I hold him tighter. “I bet it was that fucking movie.” I look over at her and see she is trying not to laugh. “Or waking in the fort where it’s so dark.”

  “I think it’s just a bad dream,” she says.

  “Whatever. He’s not going to sleep in that room,” I say, getting up and walking to the bedroom she slept in the night before. She walks ahead of me and pulls down the covers, and I place him gently down and wait for him to wake up, but he just turns to the side, and Caroline covers him. “Let’s leave the hall light on in case he wakes up again.”

  “He’s going to be fine,” Caroline says, walking to the other side of the bed and pulling down the covers. “I’ll be right here.”

  “Um, no, you won’t.” I put my hand on my hip. “You’ll be sleeping,” I say, “but in that bed.” I point in the direction of my room.

  “What?” she says, and I put my finger to my lips.

  “Let’s talk about this in bed so we don’t wake him,” I say. Walking to where she is, I take her hand and pull her with me out of the room. After looking over my shoulder ten times, I leave the door open just a bit and turn the light on in the hallway.

  “Justin,” she whispers, and I stop by the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “Can we talk?”

  “Yes,” I say. Walking into my bedroom, I turn off the light and then walk to the bed. I remove the top cover and just about push her onto it, then go to the other side and get in. Pulling her to me, I wrap myself around her. “Now we can talk.”

  “Justin,” she says, turning in my arms, and I lean in and kiss her lips. “You can’t …” God, her kisses are everything. I go back in again for another kiss. My cock gets harder than it was before, and let me tell you, it was fucking rock solid.

  “I’m not going to win this,” she says breathlessly between kisses, and she hikes her leg over my hip. If we weren’t wearing any clothes, I would slip inside her.

  “Good night, sweetheart,” I say, and she just cuddles closer to me, putting one hand between us and wrapping the other one over me.

  She leans up and kisses the underside of my jaw. “Good night, Justin,” she says softly, and with her in my arms, I fall asleep. I don’t think I move all night.

  “Justin.” I hear my name whispered, and open one eye first, seeing it’s Dylan. “I’m hungry. Can I have cereal?”

  “Yeah, buddy,” I say and then turn back to gather Caroline in my arms. “Go ahead. I’m getting up in a second, and I’ll make pancakes,” I say, and he hops and skips out of the room.

  “Why didn’t you just get up?” Caroline says from beside me.

  “Because he would have seen my morning wood, and that isn’t a conversation I want to have with him right now,” I say and kiss the top of her head. She looks up at me, her eyes still heavy with sleep. “Did you sleep well, sweetheart?” I ask, and she nods.

  I turn over, and she slips out of my arms. I walk to the bathroom, and when I come back, she’s already gone from bed. When I join them in the kitchen, she already has the coffee going. “Are you sure you’re okay?” I hear her ask him, and he just nods while he fills his mouth with a spoonful of cereal.

  “You okay, buddy?” I say, going to him and rubbing his hair, and he nods.

  “What do you want for breakfast?” Caroline asks, and I look at her.

  “Mom, are we going to church?” he asks, and she looks at me.

  “Would you mind if we went?” she asks, and I shake my head. “I just don’t have anything for Dylan to wear, so maybe we can stop
at Walmart before.”

  “Yeah,” I say. “We can do that.”

  “Perfect.” She smiles at me and fills two cups of coffee. Going to the fridge, she then looks at me. “You really did buy all the milk.”

  “I didn’t know which one you drank, so it was a safe bet to get them all,” I say and sit next to Dylan, grabbing the box of cereal and popping some into my mouth.

  “We have all the milk that they have in the store.” He shrugs. “It’s like we are the store.”

  “We have thirty minutes before we have to leave,” she says, and I nod at her. “Dylan, you need to shower,” she groans. “And so do I.”

  “Use my bathroom,” I say, and she just looks at me. “Pick your battles, sweetheart.”

  She takes her cup of coffee, stopping at Dylan’s stool first and kissing him and then coming to mine. “I have a feeling every battle I pick I’ll lose.”

  “You’re learning,” I say and lean forward to kiss her lips, tasting the sweetness of her hazelnut creamer.

  “Thirty minutes, people.” She walks away from us, and I give Dylan a couple more minutes until I push him to go take a shower.

  “Put your stuff from yesterday on, and you’ll change in the car when we stop at the store,” I say, taking the last sip of my coffee. When he goes to the bathroom to take a shower, I walk into my room. The bed is already made, and the shower has just turned off. She walks out of the bathroom dressed in last night’s clothes with a towel around her head and the coffee cup in her hand.

  “I’m going to take a shower.” I kiss her, and she smiles at me. I don’t know how long I take in the shower, but when I come out, my bedroom door is closed, and I don’t hear any noise. I walk to my walk-in closet and put on a pair of boxers, grabbing a pair of blue pants, my brown belt, and a white button-down. I tuck in my shirt and slip on my brown dress shoes. I walk out of the room and roll up my sleeve, finding Caroline in the kitchen wearing her green dress. Her hair is dry now, and the ends are curled.

  “Hey,” I say, and she looks over, but her mouth opens.

  “Is this okay?” I ask, looking down at my outfit. “I can always change.”

  “You …” she starts to say and then closes her mouth again. “You.” She points. “You’re hot.”

  I throw my head back and laugh. “Thank you,” I say, folding the other sleeve. “I think.”

  “Like wow,” she says, and I shake my head.

  I look around the kitchen and the living room and see that Dylan isn’t here. “Listen, I was thinking that after church we could swing by your place and you can go up and grab clothes for you two,” I say, and her face goes white as though she’s seen a ghost. “What’s wrong?” Then I walk to her. “If it’s too much for you, I can go up.”

  “No,” she says almost like she’s shouting, and she walks to the sink, grabs a glass, and drinks some water. She turns to look at me. “There is something I didn’t tell you.” Just the way she says it makes my heart sink. “I was going to, but it was just too much.” She looks at me. “There are no clothes.”

  “Go on.” I don’t trust myself to say much more.

  “All the clothes were slashed and destroyed. I think I have one shirt left that I had in the laundry basket,” she says, playing with her hands again, and I want to shake something. “Tomorrow, I’m going to hit up the thrift shop and even the church shop and get us some things to hold us over.” Her voice goes soft. “I’m going to take care of it.” Her eyes fill with tears, and I don’t want her to cry. I don’t want her to shed another fucking tear for the rest of her life.

  “Mom, I’m ready,” Dylan says, but her eyes never leave mine. “Mom?” he calls her again. “Are we leaving?”

  “Yeah,” she says, grabbing her purse. “It’s okay if you don’t feel up to it.”

  “Justin, you aren’t coming?” he asks.

  “Of course, I’m coming,” I say and then look down to see him wearing the same stuff he wore for two days. “We have to stop and get you some clothes.” I grab my phone and my keys. “Let’s go.”

  “Justin,” she says my name softly.

  “I hate this for you,” I say softly. “Hate it.”

  She shrugs. “It’s just another speed bump in the road.” I look at her and wonder what road she is on because there are craters in her road, and I suddenly want to pave them all. I grab her hand in mine and bring it to my lips when we walk out of the apartment. The elevator comes right away, and the three of us ride it to the garage. “We can take the BMW today,” I say, and she looks at me, smirking.

  “You know it’s Sunday,” she jokes, and I put my arm around her. “Sunday is for BMW and church.”

  “That mouth is going to get you into a lot of trouble,” I whisper into her ear. When we get to the car, I unlock the doors, and Dylan climbs in. I kiss her lips. “Big trouble.”

  “Yeah,” she says, getting into the car, and I get into the car also. “Will I end up in the penalty box?” she asks.

  “You only go to the box when you do something bad, Mom,” Dylan says, and I wink at her before putting on my sunglasses.

  “Where to?” I ask, and she looks at me.

  “The closest Walmart,” she says, and I nod at her and punch it in the GPS. We get there, and she gets out of the car and opens the back door for Dylan.

  “Are you coming with us?” Dylan asks, and I look at him.

  “No, buddy, I have to make a phone call,” I say. He jumps out of the car, and they walk into the busy Walmart.

  I pick up my phone and dial the one person I know who can help me. “Well, well, well.” She answers on the first ring.

  “Hey,” I say, looking to make sure they haven’t come out. “I need a favor.”

  “It’s going to cost you,” she says, and my eyes never leave the glass door.

  “Whatever it is,” I say and put my plan into motion.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Caroline

  I walk into Walmart, and the stale air hits me right away. My hands are clammy, and my knees are shaking. It’s surreal; this whole week has been surreal.

  I spent extra time on my hair today and curled it with the wand that he had in his bathroom. I tried not to think about who it belonged to, and when I went into the kitchen to clean up, my stomach was fluttering as if I was going to prom. He walked out, and I don’t know what I expected, but I didn’t expect him to be so, just. Hot. Then my mouth couldn’t stop talking, but then when he told me we could stop to grab the rest of my clothes from home, I thought I was going to throw up and ruin the only clothing I had.

  I didn’t know how he would react, but I had to tell him the truth. I vowed never to lie to him, and I’m not going to. Besides,

  watching him last night with Dylan was just the cherry on the cake. The way he held him and refused to let him go. I was waiting for him to fight with me about the clothing, but he didn’t, and when we step into Walmart, I head for the kids department and grab a pair of blue shorts that are on sale for nine dollars and a white T-shirt that is on liquidation for four ninety-nine. “Can I wear my sneakers?” he asks, and I nod.

  “It’s fine,” I say and go to the register and slip a folded twenty that I keep in the back of my wallet in a secret compartment that I cut into it.

  We walk out of the store, and I see Justin on the phone with someone. When Dylan opens the door, I hear him say. “Okay, I got to go. Make it happen.”

  “Did you find anything?” he asks, looking in the back at Dylan who just nods his head. I sit in the car next to Justin, and I realize that his whole outfit probably cost what I make in six months.

  “Do you want to stop somewhere so he can change?” he asks, and I just shake my head.

  “He can change in the car,” I say, and he looks at me. We make it to church, and when I get out, I’m looking around to make sure no one is there watching me.

  “You okay?” Justin asks, and I just nod.

  “I’m just nervous,” I say the truth.
“I’m waiting for Andrew to show up and blame me for keeping him away from Dylan.”

  “Gotta say, sweetheart. I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold myself back if that happens,” he says, and just the way he says it, I know that he means it, but the last thing I want is for Justin to be in trouble because of us.

  “I changed,” Dylan says, coming out of the back seat wearing his new clothes. I walk over to him and twist his shorts so they are straight. “Mom,” he groans, and I grab his hand.

  “Let’s go before we don’t have any seats,” I say, and we walk into the church. I see more than one head turn to look our way. It’s not hard to see why. I even hear a couple of whispers, but I ignore them and walk up to Father Rolly. “Hey there,” I say, and he smiles at me and then looks at Dylan.

  “Did you grow?” He asks him the same question every Sunday. “You are almost going to pass me.”

  “Father,” I say. “This is Justin, a friend of ours.”

  “Father,” Justin says, extending his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  “The pleasure is mine,” he says. “Now go sit.”

  “Do you need anything?”

  “You did what you needed to do on Friday.” He smiles at me. “And it was perfect.”

  “Thank you,” I say and turn to walk down the aisle to sit in one of the pews.

  We sit in the middle of the church. I wait for Dylan to go in, and then Justin waits for me to sit, and then he takes the seat next to me at the end of the pew. The service is just under an hour, and when it’s done, we walk out of the church, and I walk to the car with my head high for once.

  Justin must sense it because he puts Dylan in the car, and we take off. “Are we going to our house now?” Dylan asks, and I’m about to turn around when Justin speaks up.

  “I was thinking we could go grab some pizza for lunch,” he suggests, and Dylan quickly changes his mind.