Only One Kiss Read online

  “Okay, I’ll talk to you later. The new nanny starts today,” I say, and she laughs.

  “You didn’t like the last one because of her eyebrows,” she jokes, and I shake my head.

  “They didn’t move,” I say. “I have to go.” After hanging up, I walk down the carpeted hallway from the kitchen to Ari’s bedroom. I can hear her get louder. The rising sun lights her room up just a touch, and when I’m finally close enough, I see her hands moving up and down the same time as her feet. My feet sink into the plush carpet as I make my way over to the crib. Everything is arranged the exact way Cassie wanted it. I look at the picture of Cassie smiling with her hand on her big stomach in the built-in armoire she had made. It was taken at her baby shower a month before she left us. The pain in my chest is just as raw now as it was five months ago.

  I stare down at our baby who looks exactly like Cassie. Her big blue eyes shimmer, and when she finally sees me, she smiles so big. “Good morning, my princess.” Bending down to pick her up, I slide my hand under her back and feel that it’s wet. “Did we leak again?” I ask her as if she is going to answer me, but all she says, "Da-da-da-da.”

  When I lay her down on her changing table, she fusses and squirms, letting me know she doesn’t want to do this whole changing diaper thing. I hand her one of her teething rings, and she grips it and brings it straight to her mouth while I change her diaper and put on a clean onesie. “Now don’t you feel better, princess?” I ask, and she just smiles. “Let’s go get you a bottle.” I lift her to me and toss the teething ring back on the changing table, then walk out into the huge family room. I press the button on the automatic shades, and the sun slowly fills the room. In three minutes, we are both sitting on the big couch with her in the crook of my arm as we watch SportsCenter.

  Holding her bottle for her, I kiss the top of her head, then look up. The day after the funeral, I put up pictures of Cassie all around the house. I lay my head back and think back to that bleak day five months ago. How I sat in the hospital room with tears running down my face while I held our daughter in my arms. We were chest to chest, doing skin to skin, something that Cassie should have been doing. The nurses tried to sound upbeat, but they all had the same tone and look of pity on their faces. It was supposed to be the best day of my life, and it turned out to be the worst.

  “Da-da-da-da.” I hear and look down to see her chewing on her bottle. Once she sees me look at her, she smiles at me. “Da-da-da-da.”

  “Did you sleep okay?” I ask, and she just kicks her feet. “Did Mommy come visit you?” I ask, and her hands and feet start moving fast. I’m about to ask her another question when I hear the front door open. “Miranda is here,” I say, and she looks around when she hears Miranda’s voice.

  “Good morning, pretty girl,” Miranda says when she drops her bags on the counter and then comes over to us. I knew I had to get a nanny the minute the playoffs ended. I had to get in shape, and I had to get my head back in the game. So I interviewed what felt like a thousand people. Something was always wrong with them, but when Miranda came in, there was absolutely nothing that I could pick at. She is a thirty-year-old single woman who came from Denmark and has raised two other children. Plus, Ari didn’t scream when Miranda held her. I mean, Ari didn’t like it because I was there, but she didn’t cry bloody murder, so I hired Miranda on the spot. “Good morning, Ralph.” She smiles at me and then walks to the kitchen and washes her hands.

  Getting up, I walk over to the corner where I have all of Ari’s toys laid out. My house is basically just barely furnished. Cassie was waiting for me to do it with her, but with being on the road and all that, I just didn’t have the time, nor did I want to. This house wasn’t even my first choice, but Cassie wanted it, and well, I just gave in.

  I put Ari down on her stomach, and she lets me know with a whine that she is not happy, so I pick her back up, and she lays her head on my shoulder. Yup, totally whipped by a fourteen pound, twenty-five-inch baby girl.

  “Aw, she loves her daddy,” Miranda says with a smile. She reaches out to take Ari, but Ari buries her hand under her chest that is pressed to mine. “That’s okay, baby girl,” she says, rubbing her head, then she looks at me. “Did she sleep last night?”

  “Yes,” I say. “She woke up twice and then went right back to sleep. She was drinking her bottle when you came in.” I look down at Ari who just watches Miranda. “I will be gone for four hours today. She naps in about three hours, and she likes to—”

  “Go to sleep being rocked,” Miranda finishes, and then I smile at her. “She’ll be fine, I promise.” My heart pounds for a couple of seconds at the thought that I’m going to leave her, and she is going to cry. Miranda walks over to the couch and gets her bottle. She walks back to us and holds out the bottle for Ari, who tries to reach for it, but Miranda takes advantage of her arms out to take her away from me. She wants to cry, but instead, Miranda walks away from me, and I want to yell at her and tell her to come back. I want to kick Miranda out of my house and just stay the two of us, but instead, I hear Cassie’s voice telling me it’s going to be okay. I wait for Ari to scream when Miranda sits down, but she starts to talk to Ari as she gives her the bottle. She waits a bit, then looks at me and nods, giving me the okay to walk out. As I leave, I swear you would think I was missing a limb. I make my way out to the truck, and it’s so odd not to open the back door and have to buckle her in.

  Once I pull up to the training place, I get out and stretch my legs. Grabbing my phone, I see that Miranda has sent me a video of Ari sitting on her blanket as she sings to her, and Ari shakes her hands and her feet. I walk into the rink with a smile, smelling the ice right away, and my feet are getting antsy to get back on the ice. I started skating when I was three years old, and from then, I never left. I used to skate indoors and then come home and beg to go to the outdoor rinks in the winter. Even when it was freezing, I would be out there until I couldn’t feel my toes anymore. Then once I got into high school, I just got better and better, earning an invitation to the try-out camps. It was tough, but I made it, and every single year, I had to fight to keep my place on the team. Luckily, I have a contract this year, but I also know someone is always ready to take my place.

  Turning, I walk down toward the changing room, I stop when I hear someone call my name. When I turn, I’m shocked to see Justin Stone walking to me. “Holy shit,” I say to him as he comes closer, and we hug. “I was not expecting you.”

  “Yeah,” he says, laughing. Justin and I played together in Edmonton before we both got traded to different teams. It was thanks to him and his brother Matthew, who is GM for New York, that I even got a call from Nico. I owe them a lot.

  “Wanted to show Caroline Texas,” he says to me and then looks down. “Sorry, man.” Everyone says the same thing to me once they mention their own spouse, then remember I don’t have mine anymore.

  I laugh. “No worries.” I shrug, knowing he didn’t mean any disrespect by it. “Is Dylan with you also?” I ask of his stepson.

  “Nah, not today. He’s having a rest day with his cousins. It’s just me and Evan.” He motions his head. “What are you doing here?”

  “Training,” I say. “Got to get ready for the season. I was chasing your record last year.” I push his shoulder, and he shakes his head.

  “You want to get on the ice with us?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck. “Like old times’ sake.”

  “Yeah,” I say. “Nothing better than getting my ass kicked by the Stone family.” I laugh and then hear a woman calling his name. I look over to see his wife, Caroline, approaching, and her face spreads into a huge smile when she sees me.

  “Oh my God, Ralph.” She walks up to us, dropping her blue bag by Justin, and gives me a short hug. “Where is she?” She looks around. “Is she here?”

  “No,” I say. “She’s at home with the sitter.” I look down. “It’s killing me.”

  “I keep checking your Instagram for pictures, but you are the wor
st.” She pushes me now.

  “You sound like Becca.” I shake my head. “I really need to start the social media thing.”

  “You should hire Candace. She’s great,” Caroline says. “But more importantly, when can I finally meet her?”

  “Um, how long are you guys in town for?” I ask, and she looks over at Justin.

  “I think for the week, but we are having a huge barbecue at Candace’s house tonight. Do you want to come?” she asks, and then Justin answers for me.

  “Count him in,” he says, and I just look at him. “Do you know what my sister would do to me if I didn’t force you to come with a new baby? It’s like coming home with a puppy.”

  Caroline smacks his arm. “Did you just compare Ariella to a puppy?”

  “No,” he says, shaking his head. “But at the same time, you can meet Candace and beg her to take you on as a client. She said no to the last ten people I sent to her, but if you can bribe her with Ari, she might just say yes.”

  I shake my head and laugh, and it’s at that moment I realize that this is the first time I’ve had an adult conversation in the past five months. I’ve spoken to Becca and my coach and shit, but to be joking and free? It’s been a long time.

  “Why not?” I say, my heartbeat starting to pick up a bit. “But are you sure it’s going to be okay?”

  “Evan!” Justin yells down the hall, and he pokes his head out and smiles when he sees me walking over.

  “Hey.” He puts out his hand, and I shake it. We’ve been cordial to each other on the ice, and he was very nice to me last year when we met officially.

  “Is it okay if Ralph comes to the barbecue today?” Justin asks, and Evan doesn’t even wait for him to finish.

  “The more, the merrier,” Evan says, and I don’t have a choice. By the time I walk out of the arena three hours later, I’m rushing home to get my girl ready for a barbecue.

  Chapter 3

  Candace

  “Do you have any red Solo cups?” someone asks me. Looking up from the sink, I see Caroline standing there in shorts and a white halter top that Justin, her husband, grumbled about. “There are maybe ten more left outside.”

  “There should be another bag over there by the table.” I point at the four white bags right next to the door. “I told my brother to take those outside.” I walk over to them and then hear Caroline laugh.

  “Was that before or after he saw your shirt?” she asks, and I look down and smirk to myself. I knew it was going to be a hot day, so I put on jean shorts and a Dallas hockey shirt, tying it in a knot at my side. “You have a backyard with New York Stingers players, and you’re going to come out here and wear a Dallas shirt.” She shakes her head, then looks around. “Do you have an extra one?”

  “What?” I laugh, bending down and picking up the cups. I look over when the back door opens, and Justin walks in wearing shorts and a tank top with a baseball hat on his head with the New York logo. He’s carrying a bottle of water.

  “What’s going on?” he asks me and then looks at Caroline. He tries to assess the situation as he walks over to her and kisses her lips.

  “I was asking her for more cups,” Caroline says.

  “By the way, I invited a friend over,” he says, and I look over his shoulder to my backyard.

  “I mean, there are about twenty people here,” I joke. “What’s one more? I seriously didn’t know that my brother still had friends here.”

  “Two,” he says, taking a sip of water. “He’s bringing his daughter.”

  “That’s fine,” I say as we both walk outside. Soft music fills the air, but it’s drowned out by the kids screaming and jumping into the pool. I am about to sit down in a chair at the table next to the girls when my phone beeps in my pocket, telling me someone is at my door.

  “Do you need help?” Zara yells from the table, and I shake my head as I turn and walk back into the house.

  My phone beeps again with a text this time from Layla. Layla and I have been best friends for about four years now. We met at an event for the hockey team when Evan was here. She is a sports radio show host, and the two of us struck up a conversation, and we just clicked. Ever since then, we’ve been best friends. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her, and I know that if I was arrested or stranded somewhere, I couldn’t and wouldn’t be able to call her because she’d most likely be with me.

  Layla: Hope you are having fun with the family. Text me when they leave. Also, I borrowed your black heels.

  Shaking my head, I want to answer her right away, but the doorbell rings, so I tuck my phone into my pocket. I open the door, expecting a food delivery, but what I’m not expecting is the biggest crystal blue eyes. She garbles out da-da-da-da while waving her hand and giving me the biggest gummy smile I have ever seen in my life. My heart fills, and the need to bend over and just take her in my arms is so great that I have to grip the door handle so hard I’m sure my knuckles are now white.

  “Sorry, I didn’t know if I should go around the back or not.” My eyes fly up to the man holding the little girl. His brown hair looks like he just ran his fingers through it, and his blue eyes light up with the sun. The scruff on his face is perfectly groomed to show off his plump lips. “I’m Ralph,” he says, my tongue still tied, “and this is Ariella.” I look back at the little girl who is wearing a pink short onesie with a pink hat, her almost brown hair sticking out a bit in the front. A pacifier clipped on the front of her onesie that says Daddy’s Girl as he bounces her up and down on his hip.

  I shake my head and smile. “I’m so sorry,” I say, moving aside so he can walk in, then closing the door behind them. He’s dressed in shorts, and we are wearing the same shirt. “Come in please. You must be Justin’s friend?”

  “Guilty,” he says, turning to look at me. My mouth gets dry when I hear the back door open and then hear little feet running.

  “Auntie CanCan.” We both look down the hallway as Zoey runs to me, hugging my leg. “Can I have a popsicle?”

  Bending down, I pick her up, then kiss her nose. “Where is Mommy?”

  “She is right here,” Zara says from the hallway and then looks over. “Oh my God, Ralph.” She walks over to him, and I just stand here as she hugs him and kisses his cheek. “And, oh my God.” She takes her hand and rubs her finger up and down the baby’s cheek. “This must be baby girl Ariella?”

  “This is her,” he says, leaning over and kissing Ariella’s cheek as she giggles and then looks at me, saying da da over and over again.

  “She is the prettiest and look at those eyes,” Zara says. “If you want to go into the back, everyone is waiting for her.” Zara points down the hallway. “I’ll bring you there while Candace gets some p-o-p. . . ” She starts to spell it when Zoey throws her hands in the air.

  “Popsicles.” And then she claps her hands, making everyone laugh. Ralph walks in front of me, and I totally check him out. Though I’m about to kick myself when he stops, and I almost run into him.

  “Can I leave the diaper bag inside?” He looks over at me, waiting for an answer, and again, I’m standing here tongue-tied, not sure what to say. What the fuck is wrong with me? “I have her milk that needs to stay cold.”

  “Oh, yeah,” I say, trying to put Zoey down, but she just hugs me tight. “If you want a popsicle, you have to let me go.”

  “No,” she says softly and then plays with my hair. “I love you.” She bats her eyes at me.

  “Okay, fine.” I kiss her neck and walk around Ralph to the kitchen. Going straight for the freezer, I take out one of her favorite frozen yogurt ones. She claps her hands. “Give me love.” Grabbing my face in her hands, Zoey kisses me on the lips. “Love you,” I say as she squirms out of my arms and then skips over to Zara who scoops her up.

  “I’ll go tell Justin that you’re here,” Zara tells Ralph and walks out. I look back over at Ralph, and my heart speeds up a bit. I put my hand on my head, seeing if maybe I have a temperature. Maybe I’m having a sunstroke, a
nd I don’t know it.

  “Are you sick?” Ralph asks and turns just a touch so I can’t see Ariella, shielding her from the crazy lady who doesn’t say anything.

  “No,” I say, laughing nervously. “I’m fine. Do you need me to help you with that?” I point at the big diaper bag hanging off his arm. “I can hold her if you like,” I ask, walking over to them and holding out my arms to her. He looks at me and then down at Ariella.

  “She usually doesn’t go to strangers,” he says. Right before I put my hands down, Ariella reaches out and grabs my finger.

  I smile at her. “Hi, pretty girl,” I say. She smiles at me, and I take a step forward, smiling at Ralph. “I can try to hold her, and if she fusses, we can make a swap. The kid for the bag.” I try to make a joke of it. “Can I?” I lean forward, opening my hands, and he slowly hands her over.

  “Yeah.” He waits for her to cry once I take her. Instead, she smiles and then looks around.

  “Five.” I start counting. “Four.” Ralph looks at me once I finish counting down to zero. “Usually, if they don’t cry in the matter of five seconds, it’s safe to say she isn’t going to cry.”

  His eyebrows bunch together. “Really?” He looks at me and then looks at Ariella, who looks from him to me and then smiles.

  “No clue,” I say, shrugging, “but I’m going with it.” I look at Ariella, really hoping that she doesn’t cry. “You can put whatever you want in the fridge.” I point over at the fridge, and he grabs the bag and pulls out six bottles. I have to roll my lips and not laugh at him. “How long were you planning on staying?”

  He laughs, and it’s somehow light as he puts the bottles in the fridge. “I’ve been stuck without a bottle once, and I’ll never make that mistake again.” After he closes the fridge, he comes over and kisses his girl on her neck, and just the smell of him has me off kilter. It’s a clean smell, which sounds weird. I wish I could explain it better.

  “Does she have sunscreen on?” I ask when the haze of his smell leaves me.