Only One Kiss Page 21

  “What are . . .?” I take her in. She looks thin, too thin. She stands there in jeans and a shirt and her hair piled on top of her head, but I see that her eyes are red as if she’s been crying, and I want to wipe away the tears from her face. She, without a doubt, owns my heart.

  “What is all this?” I ask, looking around at the place where we spent so many days wrapped in each other. Boxes and boxes are all over the place, and some are even labeled. “Are you leaving?”

  “Yeah,” she says, avoiding my eyes. “I, um . . .” She moves away and picks up a bag by the door. “These are Ari’s things. I thought maybe you would want them.”

  “Baby, please,” I say, and she shakes her head furiously.

  “Don’t do this,” she says, almost begging. “Please don’t do this. I can’t do this.” She sobs and puts her hand to her mouth to stop it from roaring out. I start to walk to her, and she puts up her hand. “Please, I need you to just leave.”

  My lips tremble, and my hands shake as I lift one arm up and put my hand to my heart. “Candace, please, you have to give me a chance.”

  “There is nothing to explain,” she says, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. The same hand that I held that night and every night before going to bed. The same hand that I brought up to my lips when we would just be near each other. The same hand that held my daughter with all the love in the world.

  “There is everything to explain,” I say. I know that I am going to get one shot at this, just one, and I know that if I don’t, I am going to regret it my whole life. “I didn’t want kids, I mean.” I look at her face while I tell the story. “That night, listening to you say how much you couldn’t wait to have kids. Well, you see, I heard it before.” I swallow as I finally let go of the biggest secret I have. “I was trying to process everything, and the only thing I heard was Cassie’s voice. It brought me back to the time I heard Cassie talking to her co-workers about finally having her own kids.” I look up and then let go.

  “I can’t say for sure, but I’m pretty sure that Ariella was not an accident like we thought she was.” I wipe away the tears. “That doesn’t change the fact that I love her with everything that I have. Let’s be honest, I didn’t exactly have the best experience with father figures. I didn’t know if I was good enough to even be a father to a child, let alone have more than one.” My voice trails off.

  “When you left me, I thought I was having a heart attack. I collapsed on my knees in the middle of the driveway, and all I could do was think I was going to die, and I never told you that I love you. I was going to die, and I was never going to be able to say I’m sorry. I was never going to look you in the face and beg you to forgive me.” I can’t stop my feet as I walk to her. She stands there in the middle of the room, and her whole body shakes from the sobs. “Being with you was so much more than I can ever explain.” I hold her face in my hand. “When Cassie died, it hurt. I can’t deny that it hurt, but it hurt because of Ari. It hurt knowing that she is going to miss out on our beautiful girl. But . . .” I want to bend and kiss her lips. “Being without you, my heart stopped. It stopped in my chest. I’m a shell of a man without you. I’m existing when all I want to do is live. I want to live, and I want to do it with you and no one else. I can’t do it with anyone else but you. I feel it now, what love is. It creeps into you without knowing. It’s the air that makes your lungs breathe. It’s the beat of the heart. It’s the feeling that you want to do whatever you can to make the other person happy.”

  “Ralph,” she whispers.

  “I love you, Candace,” I say. “I love your smile and your laugh. I love the way you take care of everyone without asking twice. I love your loyalty. I love your stubbornness. I love all of you.” I smile now. “Every single piece of you was made for me.” Then I ask her the only question I actually want the answer to. “What would it take for you to stay?”

  Chapter 35

  Candace

  “What would it take for you to stay?” he asks, and his forehead hits mine. His hands cupping my face make my heart finally beat normal for the first time in fourteen days.

  I knew coming back here would be hard. I knew it would hurt, and I was expecting the hurt, but what I wasn’t expecting was the hurt to be so bad that I would have trouble breathing. I stepped into the house in the darkness, and the minute I did, I could still smell him here. I cried the tears as I relived the memories. I refused to even sleep in my bed and instead camped out on the couch. It was only going to be for a week anyway. I had everything already lined up, and the realtor had my house on the market. The boxes were waiting to be filled. I just had to fill them, and in two days, I would be out of my house.

  “I need you to stay,” he says, and I want nothing more than to say yes. I want nothing more than to give into him, but I can’t.

  “I can’t,” I say, and his eyes close as the tears fall. “I can’t be the one who forces you to be someone who you aren’t.” His hands fall from my face now. “You don’t want the whole white picket fence thing and the screaming kids. And that is okay.” I hold up my hand when he is going to say something.

  “This has nothing to do with you calling me Cassie. If I’m honest, it hurt, but it hurt more knowing that you will never allow yourself to see what an amazing father you are.” I wipe my nose on my sweater. “You’re stuck thinking that you don’t deserve the happiness that you have. I can’t be the woman who forces you to be that person either. It isn’t fair to you, and it isn’t fair to me. I love you,” I say this because he has to know. “I love you with every single fiber of my being. I love you with everything, but I can’t forgo what I want.” He puts his hands to his chest.

  “I want to get married. I want to have a whole big wedding or small wedding, but I want to stand with the man I love and promise to love him through everything. Good and bad. Then I want to get my white picket fence, no matter how stupid that sounds. I want to carry a child and give birth to that child. I want to breastfeed my child and help it grow. I want to read them stories and then tell them stories about our love story. I want to cry when the kids go off to school. I want to be there for them when they fall and scrape their knees. I want it all, Ralph. I want it all.”

  “I don’t know if I can give you that,” he says what I already knew.

  “I know,” I say, “which makes this that much harder because I just know how amazing you would be at all that.” I walk to him now. “I hope you find it.” I try to say the words without crumpling to the floor. “I hope you find whatever it is that will make you see what I see.” I get on my tippy toes, and I kiss his cheek. “Goodbye, Ralph,” I whisper the words, then turn and walk out of the room. I walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me and sink to the floor. I put my hand in front of my mouth to stop the sob from echoing out. The sound of the front door slamming making it final. I wanted closure, and now I got it. I peel myself off the floor and wash my face, but I know the tears are not going to go away.

  Walking out of the bathroom, I look around the room, and my eyes go to the bag that I packed not too long ago. All of Ari’s things, I packed it, not even able to see through the tears. “Fuck.” I bend to pick it up, and the door opens again and slams, and I stand here looking toward the hallway when he comes back into the room. His face is streaked with tears, his hair looks like he just pulled it. “Ralph?” He stands there in front of me with a wild look on his face.

  “What if I gave you all that?” he says. “What if I said I want to give you all that?” My heart speeds up in my chest, and I don’t have time to say anything else because he walks toward me. “ What if I said that I want to unpack my boxes. I want to take your boxes and then take mine, and I want us to unpack the boxes together.” His hands on my face again, and this time, I put my hands on his hips. “I want to buy you a house,” he says softly. “Build you a fence and make babies with you.”

  “Ralph,” I say with trembling lips.

  “I left here thinking, she’s right,
I can’t give her that,” he says. “Then the thought of you doing that without me made it unbearable to breathe. The thought that my life would be without you, it just . . .” he says, smiling. “It’s unimaginable.” He comes closer. “So stay with me, Candace. Stay with me and help me make a home for Ari.”

  In all my life, I could never expect to be given a man who I would love so unconditionally, and with that he would come with a beautiful baby girl, that I would give my life for. “Okay,” I say the word in a whisper. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

  “What?” he says almost as if he didn’t hear me.

  “I’ll stay.” I say the two words that make my heart soar. His lips finally touch mine, and we fall into each other. He holds me up as his tongue finds mine. I wrap my arms around him, and then he picks me up, and my legs wrap around his waist.

  “I’ve missed you,” he finally says when he pulls back from my lips. “I’ve missed you so much.” I’m about to answer him when he continues. “Ari, she’s missed you, too.”

  “She must have gotten so big,” I say as he wipes the tears streaming down my face. “Where is she?”

  “She’s home,” he says, “with Bernadette.”

  “Can we go get her?” I ask him. “I mean, I love this with you, but . . .” I look down. “I’ve missed her so much, and I just don’t want her to think I forgot about her.”

  “I used to call you and make her hear your voice,” he says, killing me. “She would smile.”

  I’m about to kiss him when there is a knock on the door, and I look at him. “Those must be the packers,” I say, getting off him and going to the door. “Hi,” I say to the four people who are standing there. “Um, I’m so sorry, but I am going to have to reschedule.”

  The woman smiles at me. “No worries, just give us a call when you are ready.” She turns, and the four women walk away. I close the door and then walk back into the living room and see him sitting there.

  “Can we go?” I ask, and he smiles and gets up.

  “I sold my house,” he says. “Last week.”

  “What?” I ask, shocked.

  “I hate my house, and after spending time here in your house, I want this. Not what I had.”

  “Where are you going to go?” I ask him, and he shrugs.

  “I have to decide in seven days,” he says. “I have to be out of the house next week.”

  “Have you even looked at other houses?” My mind is reeling.

  “I have not,” he says, getting up. “I didn’t want to do anything without you.”

  “Move in here,” I say the words before I even get a chance to think about it. “It’s not a big house, but it’s the right size for the three of us, and then we can see if maybe we want to buy another one.”

  “You would be okay with us living here?” he asks, and I look around.

  “I mean, technically we were kind of living here before,” I say. “But we can talk about it after we get Ari.”

  “Let’s go get our girl,” he says, and my heart literally skips a beat. He holds my hand the whole way there, and when I finally walk into the door and hear her voice, the tears just come.

  I walk into the living room and see her sitting on the floor with Bernadette. “Hello, baby girl,” I say, going to her, and she smiles so big but then pouts and starts to cry.

  I look over at Ralph, who laughs. “That’s her way of telling you that you are taking too long to pick her up. She started doing it last week.” He walks to her and picks her up, and I’m expecting her to stop crying, but she doesn’t. “You want Candace?” Ralph asks her. I hold out my hands to her, and she flies into my arms.

  “Hey there, pretty girl,” I say, hugging her as she lays her head on my chest. I kiss her head. “I missed you, baby girl,” I say and look at Ralph. “I missed you both.”

  “Welcome home, baby,” Ralph says to me, and for the first time in fourteen days, my tears are happy tears.

  Chapter 36

  Ralph

  “Good night, baby girl.” I place her down in the middle of the crib and walk out softly, closing the door just a touch. Walking to the kitchen, I put the empty bottle in the sink and head back to the bedroom. Wearing a smile on my face, I see her sitting in the middle of the bed. Her hair is wet from the pool and tied up on top of her head as she reads something on her phone. “She’s out.”

  She looks up from her phone. “You’re suing me?” she asks, shocked, and I laugh. “Don’t you laugh, Ralph. I just got a notice from Becca.”

  I lean over and kiss her lips. “I had to do something to see you,” I say, and she throws her hands up.

  “So your first thought was to sue me?” She gets on her knees, and I see that she is only wearing a white T-shirt. Her nipples showing through the shirt, and she walks over to me on her knees. “You know that I could have just sent my lawyer, right?” she says, wrapping her hands around my neck, and my hand comes up and grabs her ass.

  “I have to make a phone call,” I say, and she looks at me.

  “Now?” She leans in and kisses me. “Like right now. It’s been two weeks.”

  “Trust me, I know.” I kiss her again. “I won’t be long,” I say and slide my tongue into her mouth and then smack her ass. “Don’t shower without me.” I walk out of the room because if I stood there for another minute, I wouldn’t have left her.

  I walk outside to the backyard and sit down, dialing the number. “Hello,” he answers right away.

  “It’s me,” I say. “I just wanted to let you know that I spoke with your sister.”

  “I know,” he says and I look up at the sky as the stars twinkle like diamonds.

  “I’m moving in with her,” I say and he stays quiet. “And I’m going to marry her. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how, but at the end of the day, she’s going to have my last name.”

  “Is that a fact?” Evan says, laughing.

  “Just stating the obvious,” I say. “Thank you for giving me the heads-up.”

  “You going to tell her I told you?” he asks me.

  “If she asks, I will. I’m not lying to her,” I say. “Not now, not ever.”

  “You’re a good guy, Ralph,” he says. “As long as she’s happy, you don’t have to worry about me.”

  “Glad we are on the same page.” I look out.

  “Just because you’re dating my sister doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on you on the ice, though.” I laugh now.

  “Good to know,” I say and hang up the phone, getting up and going inside. I lock up and walk to the bedroom, seeing that she isn’t in the bedroom. I hear talking and walk down to Ari, and I see her rocking Ari as she talks to her.

  “I missed you so much.” She holds her sideways with Aria’s face on her chest. Ari holds her finger tight while Candace kisses her. “Did you miss me?” I lean on the doorjamb and listen to her. “Did you make friends?” She looks up now and sees me and smiles. “She woke up.”

  “I love you,” I say.

  “I love you, too,” she whispers. “Who did you have to call?”

  “Evan,” I say, and she stops rocking.

  “What?” she asks, shocked. “Why would you call Evan?”

  “To tell him that I’m moving in,” I say, and she starts to rock again.

  “You know that it’s my house, right?” she tells me. “He doesn’t get a say about who lives here and who doesn’t.”

  “I let him know that we’re together.” I walk in now and squat down next to the chair, seeing Ari’s eyes getting heavier and heavier. “I want to meet your parents and get to know them.”

  “Okay.” She looks at me and then looks down. I see a tear roll down her cheek and put my hand under her chin and raise it. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

  “Then why the tears?” I ask her, not sure, and she shrugs.

  “I’m happy,” she whispers, and another tear falls. She sniffles, and I look down and see Ari sleeping. “I’m so happy.”

  “Put her down,” I say. “Let�
�s go shower.”

  She gets up, kissing Ari’s head before putting her down, and the two of us walk out of the room with her holding my hand. “Did you really talk to Evan?” she asks me when we get into the bedroom, and I turn off the lights. I grab the baby monitor with one hand while my other hand holds her and drags her into the bathroom.

  I don’t turn on the light in the bathroom, putting the baby monitor down on the sink and turning around to face her. The moonlight gives me just a touch of light, enough to see her, and I pull the elastic from her hair. “I really called Evan,” I say softly. Grabbing her face, I lean in and kiss her. “I had to set some things clear.” I let her go, walking over to the shower and turning on the water.

  “Like?” she asks me, standing there, not moving. I walk over to her, taking off my shirt and tossing it on the side.

  “Like the fact that you are mine.” I grab the bottom of her shirt and rip it over her head. Her nipples pebbled. I grab her breasts in my hands and roll her nipples. “I am here to stay,” I say, bending down and taking a nipple in my mouth. “That one of these days.” I switch to the other nipple, sucking it deep into my mouth. “You are going to have my name.” Her head falls forward as she watches me.

  I pull my shorts off, and my cock springs free. I slip her panties off, bending while she steps out of hers. I kiss her mound, slipping my tongue along her slit. “Ralph,” she says, and I stand, grabbing her hand and walk into the shower with her. The hot water hits my arm as I turn around to kiss her. Her hands go to my hips and then straight to my cock as she jerks it.

  My head falls back as I close my eyes. “Fuck, that feels good,” I say, and then I feel her mouth on my cock head as water pours over her head. “Baby.” I fuck her mouth slowly as she swallows me. Her hands cup my balls, and I get lost in her mouth. My balls start to get tight, and I know that I’m going to blow any second.