Southern Sunrise Read online

  “Don’t ever touch me again,” she says, her voice low and tight. “Ever,” she says and walks out, running after Chelsea. I watch them as Chelsea turns to her and puts her hands on her knees as she has what looks like a panic attack. Her chest rises and falls as she sobs, and Emily rubs her back, bending down to talk to her.

  “Hey.” I hear from beside me, and see that it’s Drew. I turn to look at him, and everyone in the diner is watching our exchange. “You sure do know how to make an entrance.”

  I shake my head. “That wasn’t what I was going for,” I tell him. Drew and I met on the rodeo circuit when we were both ten. We often participated in the same competitions, and one of us would end up getting the ribbon.

  “What were you going for?” he asks, and I look at the expensive suit he’s wearing and the Rolex on his wrist. “Because I’m not sure you get it.” He throws his jacket over his shoulder. “You just aren’t welcome here.”

  “Is that any way to welcome home your best friend?” I ask.

  “Our friendship ended the day you fucked off and left us all behind,” he says, walking out of the diner. I don’t even let a second go by before I’m outside. I watch Drew stand beside Emily and Chelsea.

  Chelsea stands up now, and Emily puts her hand around her shoulder and says something to Drew who just nods. Chelsea and Emily turn to walk away, but then Drew calls Emily’s name. He walks back to her and kisses her on the lips, and it’s my turn to stand here with my mouth open.

  You left, I remind myself. You left without looking back. What did you expect? I’m about to take a step forward when I spot a blue Range Rover pull up. The driver door opens, and he takes off his sunglasses.

  “I thought they were lying,” Casey says. He’s dressed more casually in jeans and a T-shirt with boots. What I’m not expecting is for his clone to get out of the passenger side dressed exactly like his father but with a cowboy hat. His dirty jeans and shirt indicate he’s been riding. “Quinn,” he calls his name. “Go in there and get us a couple of burgers.”

  “Will do, Pops,” he says and then stops in front of me. “You got huge,” he says, and then he looks me up and down. “You back for a visit or for good?”

  “Haven’t decided yet,” I say, looking at Casey. “He grew up.” I motion to Quinn.

  “Well, that’s what happens in five years,” Casey says, walking to me and stopping in front of me. “I see you found your way back home.”

  “Yeah,” I say, putting my hands in my back pockets. My stomach feels like there is a roller coaster going up and down in it. “Figured I would.”

  “You would make things right,” he finishes for me. “It’s been a couple of months.”

  “It has.” I don’t tell him that it took longer for me to recuperate because after he left, I went into a downward spiral. I haven’t slept a full night without nightmares since I woke up, and the demons I carry haunt me every waking minute. I don’t tell him anything. “I was waiting to get my orders.”

  “When do you ship out?” He looks over my shoulder at the diner.

  “They didn’t give me a date yet,” I answer honestly.

  “Is this the first stop?” he asks, motioning with his chin toward the diner.

  “I figured it would get the gossip going,” I say. “I didn’t know that Chelsea would be here or Emily.” I want to ask how long she’s been with Drew and why she still stayed if I wasn’t here. I want to ask all the questions, but I don’t deserve the answers.

  The door to the diner opens and closes, and when I look back toward the door, I see that Quinn is coming back with three bags in his hands. “Shall we go check out the house?” he asks, and I nod, but something stops me from walking forward.

  “I …” I look down at my feet. “I should go and see Mom,” I say the words that have been lodged in my throat like a lump of coal.

  “Ethan,” he says softly.

  “She is probably going to freak out when Chelsea goes home in that state.” I shake my head. “So I might as well get the whole awkward meeting over sooner than later.”

  I wait for him to say what he wants to say … to say something. He looks down and then looks up. I can see the tears in his eyes, and I’m not ready for what comes next. I’m not ready for anything he’s about to say to me. “I’m sorry, Ethan. She’s gone.”

  Chapter Five

  Emily

  The sound of her sobs rip through her as soon as I get her in the car and close the door. “What are you going to do with her?” Drew asks, and I have to think that it’s the stupidest question he’s ever asked me.

  “I’m going to take her home,” I say. “She can’t drive like that. It’s not safe.”

  “This isn’t your problem, Em,” he says softly. “You aren’t even related to her.”

  “Drew,” I say. “I’m going to go take her home. I’m going to make sure she is okay since Savannah and Beau had to go out of town for an event this weekend.”

  “Then what?” He looks at me, and I want to tell him then I’m going to go home and finish off a bottle of wine. I’m going to call my best friend, and she is going to come over and bring another bottle of wine, and I’m going to finish that one also. I don’t tell him that I’ll probably be in the middle of the room curled up in a ball and shed all my water weight in tears.

  “Then I’m going to go home and grade the papers I need to grade,” I say. “I will call you when I get home.”

  “Fine.” He gives in and leans in, kissing me on my lips, no doubt making sure everyone sees, and by everyone, I mean Ethan. I get into my car and drive away at the same time Ethan walks out of the restaurant.

  He’s been gone for five years, yet it feels like it was just yesterday. He is much bigger than he was; his arms look massive. His hair is cut short on the sides whereas he had it long before. He used to keep it long because I liked to run my hand through it while we laid side by side on the grass. His eyes are blue, but something about them is different, something I can’t explain. It’s a coldness, and it’s almost scary. “Why is he here?” I hear from beside me. “Why did he just show up?”

  “I don’t know, honey,” I say, my own heart breaking all over again. I thought I was over him, but I was wrong. All the hatred I have for him is there, but so is all the love I felt for him. “Maybe he missed home.”

  “He broke our family apart,” she says. “Mom was a mess when he left. She was there, but a piece of her was gone, and no matter how many times I tried to tell her that he would come back, I would still hear her cry when she thought she was alone. I would hear my dad hold her and tell her that he would be back. He did that. He took that from her, from me, from Keith, and from Toby.”

  I don’t know why I do it. I don’t know what possesses me to say what comes out next, but I do it. “He was hurt that he was lied to. He was just hurt. You know how many times you say stuff when you are hurt, but you don’t mean it.”

  “Yeah,” Chelsea says, “but after an hour, I’m sorry about it. I don’t disappear for five fucking years.”

  “Chelsea,” I say her name sternly. “A lady never swears,” I say, and she rolls her eyes.

  We pull up to the house, and I see that Keith is just getting home. He throws his bike on the grass, then looks over at us while taking off his helmet. He walks over to us and sees that Chelsea’s eyes are all puffy and her nose is red.

  “What happened to you?” he says. “Is it that time of the month?”

  “Shut up.” She pushes him as he laughs and runs up the steps.

  “Mom!” he shouts, walking into the house, and I’m shocked she’s still there. “Chelsea has her period, and she’s crying. Miss Emily had to drive her home.”

  “I hate him,” she says from beside me. The door swings open, and Savannah walks out with a smile. The minute she sees us, her phone rings, and she looks down.

  “Mom,” Chelsea calls out her name, but she just holds up a hand telling her to hold on.

  “Hey, Casey,” s
he says, looking at us, and then her hand goes to the railing. Her legs give out, and she sits on the step. “Where is he?” She listens. “No, I’m home. We canceled.” She looks at me with all the tears in the world. “Okay,” she whispers, a sob ripping out of her while the phone falls from her hand. Chelsea runs over to her and takes her in her arms as she sits beside her.

  “Dad!” she shouts, and Beau comes running out. “Dad!”

  “What’s the matter?” He runs to his wife and squats down in front of her. “What happened?”

  She looks at him with all the love in the world. The two of them have been best friends since they were small and then played cat and mouse until they were forced to get married. She puts her hand on his face. “He’s back.” Her body shakes with sobs. “He’s come home.”

  Beau looks at her and then looks at me, and all I can do is nod. He looks back at his Savannah and Chelsea.

  “I saw him.” Chelsea now says something, and Savannah looks at her.

  “Was he okay?” she asks, hanging on Chelsea’s every word. “Did he look okay? Did he look like he’s been hurt?”

  “He looks the same,” Chelsea says, and I want to tell her that she’s wrong. He’s different; his arms are bigger. His face is more chiseled; his eyes are darker and hold secrets. He has a couple of scars on his arms, and his hair is shorter. He may look the same, but he's not the same. I look down and blink away the tears that are now threatening to come out.

  Savannah looks at me, and she holds out her hand for Beau to help her up. He holds out his hand for her, and she grabs it. She walks over to me with Beau helping her the whole time. If I didn’t know she was Ethan’s mom, I would think she was his sister. She hasn’t aged at all. Sure, her hair has a bit more gray, and her eyes have lost a bit of their spark, but she looks the same as she did in his baby pictures. “He’s home,” she says to me, and my heart shatters. “He’s come home.”

  Taking a huge breath, I lock my feelings away for at least the next five minutes until I can escape this scene. “I’m happy for you,” I say, but my voice cracks, and she grabs my hand. “Happy that he’s come home.”

  “He’s back,” she tells me, and I look at her.

  “I can’t go back there,” I say, and this time, the tears fall. It’s like the dam has been broken. “I can’t go back there. I won’t survive it.”

  “But …” she says, and it’s Beau who puts his arm around her shoulder.

  “Sweetheart,” he says her name softly. “She’s moved on.”

  “I have moved on. I’m engaged to a wonderful man. I’m finally happy,” I say, and she looks at me, putting her hand on my cheek.

  “Not once did you say you didn’t love him,” she points out, and I’m about to say something, but she doesn’t stop. “A love that deep and that strong doesn’t ever go away.”

  “It was easy enough for him to stop loving me,” I remind her, even though the last thing I want to do is shit on Ethan

  “He’s back, and he’s going to explain everything,” she says. Shaking my head, I feel arms around me and see that it’s Chelsea trying to give me strength.

  “There is nothing to explain,” I say. “I don’t want to hear anything he has to say.” I look at Beau. “Nothing he can say will make what he did to me okay.” I try not to break down. “He left me. He tossed his cell phone out the window and drove out of town,” I say, and she nods. “He didn’t see me run after his truck. He didn’t hear me yell his name until my voice was so raw I couldn’t swallow for two days. He. Didn’t. Care.”

  “Emily,” Beau says softly.

  “I’m happy your son is back,” I say, and then I look at Chelsea, who is wiping away her own tears. “I’m happy your brother is back, but that is where it stops.”

  “Okay,” Savannah says, and then I hear a truck coming. I look over my shoulder and see that it’s Casey’s blue Range Rover.

  I release Savannah’s hands when she whispers her son’s name. She drops my hand and walks across the lawn toward the car. I watch as Ethan gets out of the truck, and I hear Beau from beside me. “I’ll do what I can do,” he says softly. “To get her not to bring it up.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I say, turning and walking slowly away at the same time Savannah sobs as Ethan takes her in his arms. She grips on to him, saying his name over and over again as I get in my car. I start the car and drive off, away from the man who broke me, away from the man who shattered my heart, away from the man I thought I hated.

  Chapter Six

  Ethan

  I watch her walk to her car with her head down, and everything in my body and my head is telling me to run after her. But my mother’s in my arms, clawing at me, so I focus on her.

  Fifteen minutes ago, I stood in front of the diner, and Casey told me she was gone. It cut me off at the knees in more ways than one. I put my hand to my chest to stop the pain from shooting through me, taking a step back.

  “What?” I whispered, and for the first time in five years, I had regrets. For the first time in five years, I was brought back to the memory of when I left. I blocked it out, blocked it all out for the last five years, and now I was back there. “When? How?”

  “You don’t care. At least that’s what you said, isn’t it?” He looked at me while I glared at him and tried to steady my heart rate. “You wrote them off five years ago, didn’t you?” I advanced on him, and he didn’t move an inch. He didn’t even flinch. “I believe what you said was you had no family.”

  “I’m not playing with you,” I hissed, standing toe-to-toe with him. “Where is she?”

  “Dad,” Quinn said from beside him.

  “She’s gone for the weekend,” he said, and the tightness in my body went away like a huge sigh of relief. “I’ll call her now and see where she is.” He took his phone out, and he called her right away. “I’ll be right over.” He hung up. “She’s home.” I just nodded at him and walked over to the truck, getting into the back. No one said anything as we made our way to the house that I left five years ago.

  It had been five years, but it felt like yesterday. My heart sped up as we made our way to the house. Not my house, not my mother’s house, not my family’s house—just the house. When he turned on the street, if I didn’t know any better, I would have thought I was having a panic attack. I reverted to my training, but nothing, nothing could prepare me for the sight before me.

  Beau with his arm around my mother’s shoulder and her face streaked with tears. She looked the same, but you could see the pain in her eyes. It hit me that I put that pain there. I did that. But I didn’t stare at her for too long. Instead, I looked at Chelsea with her arm around Emily, who didn’t turn and look at me. My mother saw me first, her eyes meeting mine. She walked to me in a daze, her hand on her mouth as she tried to keep the sob at bay, but it roared out of her.

  My body acted in reflex, opening my arms, and she rushed into them. “I’m so sorry,” she said over and over again.

  Now she’s in my arms, and I am watching the car drive away from me. Listening to her tell me she loves me, I remember the times I’ve been back from deployment when families would meet their soldiers. The tears from both the soldiers and their families usually echo in the big empty room. I would come back and walk right past them to a waiting car.

  My head shut off, and my body shut off. I would make my way to my cabin in the woods that I bought and fixed up during the year. It was a shack when I got it—no water, no electricity, nothing—but I fixed it up every single chance I got, and now at least it has the basic necessities.

  “You’re home,” my mother says, pulling out of my arms and putting her hands on my face. “You’re home.”

  I don’t answer her. I don’t say anything because, to be honest, I have no idea what to say. Am I home? I don’t even know what home is. “You look so good,” she says, her whole face lighting up, and then she turns to Beau. “Look at him.”

  “I see him,” Beau says with his hands on his h
ips. He doesn’t take his eyes off me, his own tears in his eyes. Chelsea joins him, and he puts his arm around her shoulder as she glares at me. The door opens, and Keith comes out with Toby behind him.

  “Is that Ethan?” Keith says my name more of a question. Meanwhile, Toby just walks to Chelsea and grabs her hand.

  “Look, guys,” my mother says. “Your brother is home.”

  “Great,” Keith says, then looks at Beau. “Can I go to Billy’s?”

  “Yeah.” He nods, and Keith doesn’t say anything to me, which surprises my mother. I see the anger in his eyes; it’s the same anger I’ve seen before many times when I looked at myself in the mirror. Whereas Toby’s eyes are just confused.

  “But your brother is here,” my mother says, and I finally speak up.

  “It’s fine,” I say, shaking my head. “I am not going to stay long anyway.” Her face falls, and Beau must sense it because he moves forward and puts his hands on her arms. “I just got into town, and I have to check out the place I’m going to stay at.”

  “What?” she whispers. “You are going to stay here.” Her thumb motions to the house. “Your room is exactly the same,” she tells me, and I’m shocked that she kept my room. I mean, I wasn’t exactly living at home when I left, but I did have my bed and some clothes there. I would have thought that Chelsea would have taken the room since it was bigger than hers. “We didn’t touch anything in it.”

  I’m about to say something to her when I hear a car pull up, and it stops suddenly. The passenger door opens, and Kallie comes out of the car. Her mouth hangs open, and then the tears come. She leaves the door open as she walks to me. “Oh my god,” she says, wrapping her arms around my waist, not giving me the chance. “I can’t believe this. I thought they were lying.” I hug her with one hand while I look over at the car and see my father get out. Tears fill his eyes but also so much more.